Courtesy Chrissy Teigen; Inset: Cindy Ord/Getty
Open Instagram or Pinterest and you’re probably bombarded with photos of perfect, seemingly-effortless homemade desserts — so it’s refreshing to get a dose of kitchen reality once in a while.
Enter Chrissy Teigen.
It took the Sports Illustrated cover model 36 hours, two failed frosting-making attempts and a whole lot of curse words to make the emerald cake above — and she chronicled the whole adventure in a series of Tweets she dubbed #cakegate.
The self-proclaimed “worst baker on the planet” admitted she hated the green velvet cheesecake layer cake before she even started, but she pressed on, taking nearly an hour to even complete the first step. (To be fair, the first step was making an entire cheesecake for the middle layer of the cake, so we think that’s pretty good!)
i am drinking and making hate cake and these are my drunk cake adventures
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 17, 2014
I am the worst baker on the planet why do I do this to myself WHY!
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 17, 2014
if you would like to follow along, this is what i am making. i am currently on step one and i already messed up http://t.co/3u3vsU0Eth
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 17, 2014
To make the cheesecake, Teigen had to give her a cake an “uppity” water bath, prompting her to confront the cake via Twitter (“bathe yourself!”) and pour herself another drink.
i just finished step one. it’s been 55 minutes.
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 17, 2014
Three hours in and it seemed like an exasperated Teigen had almost hit her breaking point, Tweeting “I can’t explain how much I hate this cake” and more:
this is so stupid. i hate cake so much. cake is stupid
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 17, 2014
the only thing more stupid than cakes are cupcakes then even stupider are mini cupcakes
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 17, 2014
i could have grilled 10 racks of ribs and marinated 20 chicken thighs or 400 branzinos in this time that i have made this stupid cake
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 17, 2014
By what she called “step 1,000,” the cake looked nearly finished, though it still needed to be iced. An exhausted Teigen managed to make the icing — and frost herself a little, but not the cake — before she passed out.
Dedicated to her mission, she woke up at 4am to continue the battle, despite the crazy mess in her kitchen.
I passed out
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 18, 2014
It’s 4am I dunno where the cake is — christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 18, 2014
It’s in the fridge. And freezer. And counter. Parts of it are everywhere. — christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 18, 2014
It’s still not done
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 18, 2014
Now 24 hours had passed, and the cake was finally ready to be iced with the marshmallow frosting. Of course, the frosting had hardened overnight and needed to be remade, but not before the gloppy mess broke her garbage disposal!
We are entering hour 24 of #cakegate
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 18, 2014
my marshmellow frosting has hardened into a mountainesque mass. have to make again. #cakegate #updates #30hours
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 18, 2014
Ok. Cake update. My garbage disposal broke resulting in a goopy mess. I attempted to make frosting in a roasting pan with a fish spatula…
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 19, 2014
…because the frosting hardened around my utensils and nobody got time for that pic.twitter.com/EZ42FJt6rW
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 19, 2014
I went out and bought frosting and put food coloring in it. it’s horrific looking it loos like double dare nose goo pic.twitter.com/UBhbsTdVvz
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 19, 2014
Almost 36 hours later, when she had finally finished waging war, a triumphant Teigen Instagrammed a photo of a delicious-looking cake with the caption “I HATE YOU I am so scared to cut into you but also so excited to stab you with knives.” She didn’t end up stabbing the dessert (that we saw), but she did slice it to reveal a beautiful layer cake — with an errant piece of parchment paper stuck between the layers. Whoops! Watch the video below to see for yourself. And Chrissy? We hope all the work was worth it!
—Rosa Heyman
